I Shoulda Been a Dancer

She couldn't have been more than 12, but she was tall for her age. We had gathered for an art show, but I knew only the host. Her presence was a welcome change from the scattered introductions and hurried greetings. I'd been a teacher, so I knew how this would go. I was prepared to … Continue reading I Shoulda Been a Dancer

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Before The I Do: Love Is Not a Marriage

I wasn't sure if I believed in marriage. It was antiquated. It was oppressive. It was rooted in the myth of female subjectivity. Rooted in a historical legacy of woman as property: capable of, needing to be, and wanting to be owned. It was the aspiration of overzealous evangelicals, cloaked in insincere holiness, in inauthentic … Continue reading Before The I Do: Love Is Not a Marriage

Love Is Not a Marriage (…continued)

I wasn’t sure that I wanted marriage or children. Marriage was the aspiration of insecure women with little ambition. I was sophisticated, and metropolitan, and evolved (Whew! Lol, right?). More than that, I didn’t think someone black would ever love me, truly. I was weird and prude and unconventional. And not in the interesting way, … Continue reading Love Is Not a Marriage (…continued)

Love Is Not A Marriage

We dreaded it. From the moment the words slipped from his lips there was gnashing of teeth and long-suffering: Mandatory team-building. Sweet Christmas. They told us to bring snacks and wear comfortable clothing. They told us to be prepared for inclement weather and outdoor activity. They didn't share what the activities were or what kind and how … Continue reading Love Is Not A Marriage

On Groceries, Racism, and Relationships: I’m not making two trips

On Racism I’ve only been called a nigger twice, both times in Chicago. It’s one of the things that sold him on Texas. He’d expected much worse, and had been through more in Jersey. We were trying to pick a place where we could settle down and, in time, raise children. Texas was off the … Continue reading On Groceries, Racism, and Relationships: I’m not making two trips