I wasn't sure if I believed in marriage. It was antiquated. It was oppressive. It was rooted in the myth of female subjectivity. Rooted in a historical legacy of woman as property: capable of, needing to be, and wanting to be owned. It was the aspiration of overzealous evangelicals, cloaked in insincere holiness, in inauthentic … Continue reading Before The I Do: Love Is Not a Marriage
I was six when my grandmother passed away, so I don’t remember much about her. What I can piece together is vague and, because of its lack of specificity, unsatisfying. I know that she had a large family and that she was one of just a few girls in a house dominated by brothers. I … Continue reading Sometimes They Come Back
When I was white, it wasn’t on purpose. It wasn’t intentional. It started because I was a square peg coveting circles. It started because I stuck out everywhere, even when I didn’t want the attention. Even when race and gender didn’t play a role. I just didn’t seem to belong anywhere. About seven years ago … Continue reading Black On Both Sides
My mother used to make our clothes when we were younger. In fifth grade my favorite was a black and green checkered pattern two-piece. The top fit like a suit jacket with box shoulders and mid-length sleeves. The bottoms were shorts that swam past my knees. Whenever I’d wear it, I’d get permission to wear … Continue reading Save Tonight.
My niece changed my life, but she doesn't know it (partly because she's six, but also because I've never told her). Before she was born, I had a picture in my head of who I was and what I wanted. Her life exposed me, made me aware of my bias and my privilege. She made … Continue reading To Live, Joyfully
We knew he’d be tall because his knees were too big for his legs. Ever since he was little, they were at least three times the size of his knees. We figured that he’d take after my dad’s uncles. In college, I was really excited when he asked to come visit me. Seven years my … Continue reading But I Am Still Thirsty
I wasn’t sure that I wanted marriage or children. Marriage was the aspiration of insecure women with little ambition. I was sophisticated, and metropolitan, and evolved (Whew! Lol, right?). More than that, I didn’t think someone black would ever love me, truly. I was weird and prude and unconventional. And not in the interesting way, … Continue reading Love Is Not a Marriage (…continued)